Life's Journey

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart"

It felt as if it was only yesterday when I had my very first experience setting foot into a school, my first actual lesson.

I remembered being six when I entered kindergarten. I entered a year later then the rest of them but nevertheless, I graduated that year and got second. Kindergarten was nothing but fun for an innocent, young child. Studies wasn’t much of a focus then, it was mainly colouring, tracing alphabets, singing, spelling and simple calculations such as two plus five. I knew a girl named Gabriellyn, who was my best friend that time. She gave me her phone number but I had lost it and I lost contact with her after I entered primary school.

Time in primary school flew once more. From primary one to primary six, everything was a blur, everything went so fast. When I was in primary three, I was selected to take the PTS examinations, which would enable me to skip primary four and pursue primary five instead. But, I had never been serious in the PTS examinations because I was not keen on skipping a year and not being with my friends whom I had already been with for three years. I even arrived late for the PTS examinations! After two pages of the test, I ended up talking to my friend who was sitting at the desk next to me. Due to that, both of us failed the test because we didn’t complete it. But it wasn’t a failure to us, we laughed at our results when we saw the notice board with our names and next to it, in capital letters, it says ‘fail’.

So in primary four, I had the best science teacher that I would never forget, Madam Johanna. Strict as she was with us and always punishing us with her unusual method of ‘angkat tangan’ for five excruciating minutes, she was an excellent class teacher who taught me science for three years. In fact, she was my favourite teacher in primary school.

In primary five, I was selected to be a prefect and my senior was Navena. From junior, I became a senior in primary six. As I said before, time really flies. I was going to sit for UPSR examinations that year. Everyone was preparing for the examinations, studying, revising all things we were taught from primary four to primary six. Hectic as it was, nevertheless, it was fun the way we spent our last year in St. Teresa’s Primary School. I remembered having Madam Fatimah as my English teacher, we used to make fun of the way she pronounced milk as ‘mulg’. I still laugh my head off when I recall about that. In primary five, I had supervised the school during 2002 UPSR and in primary six, it was my turn and then, before I knew it, UPSR was all over. I remembered my number was SK2321110 (the last four digits are my birth date) and my best friend, Grace, was SK2321111 and she sat in front of me during the examinations. Meanwhile, Esther was on my right. I remembered us shouting ‘monster’ when we discovered we were sitting next to each other because we had always enjoyed disturbing one another during lessons and even exams. After the examinations, we had fun gambling in class and sitting on cards when Mr. Sabri makes rounds. Gnome Toss was a favourite among all of us, slamming and banging on the table with all the cards. Mafia, too became a favourite. I still have my Gnome Toss deck…all mangled and crumpled from constant slamming and banging together with shouts of laughter.

From fun it became the day that the UPSR examination results came out. I had obtained 4A’s and B for my Bahasa Melayu objective paper. Disappointed as I was when I heard the news and even more disappointed when I realized that I was going to 1A2 in St. Teresa’s Secondary School. I just masked it up and put on a face that showed that I didn’t mind and lived my life like nothing had happened until the first day I went to secondary school.

The first day in St. Teresa’s Secondary school felt as if a bombshell had dropped out of the blues. It was the first time in my whole life when I had been in a B class. I completely didn’t enjoy my first day in secondary school. It wasn’t enjoyable knowing that I was in the second-best class. Well…sometimes, I do get what I want… The afternoon session assistant principal, Madam Sita came in and announced that some of us will be moved to 1A1 because there was space. And I was one of the lucky ones selected to be moved. So was Esther. I remembered Kristen and my friends who were in 1A1 sneaking over to see the announcement being made and cheering silently when my name was announced.

So, the next day I entered 1A1 and I finally felt as if I had found my place because I knew that I didn’t belong in 1A2. I discovered that a few of the students in 1A1 were stuck up because they had obtained 5A’s and in their narrow-minded opinions that they were better than me. Although that was an old story, I don’t really mind when I think about it now but still, it’s a part of my memory. One of the girls were saying audibly that I was bound to be thrown back to 1A2 because I had 4A’s and that I wasn’t as good as them. But I proved her wrong when she got thrown into 1A2 instead. Although I maintained in 1A1 but I wasn’t satisfied with my marks, I knew I had to work harder because I was slipping. I got somewhere around 10-15 for all four terms and I wasn’t very pleased. I was once again, selected to be a prefect and I passed the probation. Form 1 was also the year when I first got to know Rhema Basil Andrews and indeed I shall say, one very good and trustworthy friend found.

Then the year 2005 surfaced and I was now a senior prefect and in 2A1. I believe that I am slightly more pleased with my academics achievements that year as I think back about it. Perhaps except my second term exam when I got 11th but apart from that, 7th for the first term and 5th for the third and fourth term, I’m slightly more satisfied. I received my prefects appreciation plate and certificate during prize giving and also best student in Form2 plate and certificate. Also, I had the memory and feeling of the first debate and loosing it. There was also the feeling of the second debate when my team won and I was given best speaker, that time I was the third speaker. I was now halfway through my secondary school life and before I am knowing it, Form 3 will be surfacing, breaking through and I would be taking PMR examinations…and no more prefect’s uniform…

Time flies as I think back. It feels like the first day in school, the very first experience. Before I am knowing it, pretty soon PMR examinations comes and goes around the corner and Form 4 comes and then comes Form5 then SPM examinations comes and goes around the corner once more and I will be leaving St. Teresa’s Secondary school…

I wrote those paragraphs above three years ago in 2005, now at the age of seventeen, I shall add a few more paragraphs to this composition. Two years ago, Form 3 surfaced and I conclude that it was the best school year despite the fact that I had to study quite a lot for PMR examinations. I was selected as a prefect in Form 3 and Puan Tan was the best class teacher I ever had. For the first time in my whole life, I got first in one of the school exams that year, breaking Wendy Chan's never ending streak of getting first every exam. Quite a big personal achievement for me I must say. I got third the first exam, the next was second and then the next was first and I got second for the last term exam. I got the award for Best Student in Form 3 and Best Student in 3A1 this year. Time passed on and PMR finally arrived, I had lost every ounce of fear for it. Boo yeah when the results came out and I got straight A's just as I had hoped for. This was also the year when my friends and I created our own gang fight video. It was lame but nevertheless, humorous! One person I quite believe that Rhema and I would never forget would be Linda Soon. Loudspeaker. I also went for a shooting competition in Johor and managed to squeeze into the finals and got 9th. Not bad for a newbie like me.

In the year 2007, I was introduced to new subjects like Chemistry, Physics, Biology and Additional Mathematics. Thank God I managed to retain my streaks of being in the Top 3. Examinations in Form 4 are a lot different from the years before, they were longer and a whole lot more stressful. I managed to hijack a couple of awards this year, Best Student in Form 4, Best Student in 4 Science 1, Best Student in Physics, Straight A's for PMR award, sports award and a prefects' appreciation plague. I got selected as a prefect, yes I know, again. I went for the prefects' Leadership Camp and my group leader was Claire Chang. We spent quite a lot of time together there at Permai. Our group name was Loser but ironically, we were the best team throughout the whole camp. I was elected as Treasurer for the Red Crescent Youth Unit #8 and President for the Literary and Debating Society and the big surprise finally came when I was told that I was elected as the Head Prefect of SMK. St. Teresa. Quite a baggage.

I took part in my first Interschool Debate competition at Kolej Abdillah. What a gigantic school. Kristen was the first speaker, Azureen was the second speaker, I was the third speaker while Rhema and Nishanti were the reserves. We lost to Batu Lintang but nevertheless, it was one pack of a good experience. I recall calling Daniel Chong, the Batu Lintang first speaker, outdated. Then I joined the Bond University High School Mooting competition several months later together with Lilian, Zahira, Kristen, Demie and Azureen. My team lost but Kristen, Demie and Azureen made it to the finals and got second. Disappointing but yes, expected, mooting was never my forte. I hate speeches, I love impromptu and that's why I think I make a pretty average debater who usually does the rebuttals. I took part in a very amusing Health Quiz, which they asked me what causes J.E disease and I answered, Japanese mosquitoes. Quite a lot happened this year. Another great thing is that I met him, Perry Tan. A supportive and a hopeless romantic fellow who makes both a good friend and more than that. It was one shot I took that turned out fine.

Now, it is the year 2009 that I am updating this ridiculously long post. So here goes, the continuation…

In the year 2008, I acted as chairwoman to organize the Prefects’ Leadership Camp and several other school events. However, I had to retire as Head Prefect in July and I simply cannot find the right words to express the thrill of retiring as Head Prefect. No more coming to school before 6.30AM, no more blazers to sweat in and best of all, I can actually enjoy recess with my friends. I attended the Prefects Dinner and my crazy juniors voted me as “Miss Hot & Vain”. That was funny. I took back a cute Elianto eyeshadow that doubles as a keychain with this green rhinestone flower hanging from it. I was made President of the Literary And Debate Society that year and retired that year as well. I think I had a little too many clubs that year apart from LADS, Ping Pong Club, Photography & Videography Club, Red Crescent and Health Club.

Ah, speaking of the Health Club. That year, Irene, Lilian, Rhema and I joined the Health Quiz and surprisingly, we were the runner ups for the competition. We lost to the Form 6 girls of SMK. St. Thomas. I can’t really remember but I think we won RM500, a trophy and individual trophies. Unfortunately, the school only let us keep RM50 each and our individual trophies. At least we got certificates.

Time flew and flew and before I knew it, time to sit for Trial SPM examination and then… it was time to sit for the actual SPM examination. The first day of SPM went smoothly but hey, all good things got to come along with several bumps and bruises right? The next day, I came down with a fever, a flu and a sore throat. I battled my way through the exams with heaps of tissue paper and sneezing. Fedocea Pearl, who sat about 5 rows away from me during SPM, commented that she could hear me sneezing nonstop. The day to sit for Biology papers arrived and I was still sick. That morning before the Biology test, I passed out at home while having breakfast. I was rushed to Timberland, given medication, drank lots of glucose and then, I slept in my mum’s car in the school carpark until 30 minutes before my Biology test. That seriously sucked big time. Basically, I was sick the whole of SPM.

After SPM examination ended, I was ridiculously paranoid about my SPM results. I kept complaining to Perry, who kept complaining that I was complaining over nothing. I got so paranoid that I even started studying for Form 6. On Christmas Eve, I received a gift and news from Perry that he will be leaving sometime soon to further his studies in Australia. Ah, that rich boy. I was rather envious since I was still hoping for good results to get a JPA Scholarship. My dad made scrumptious lamb shank on Christmas Eve. Pretty much, the year 2008 ended on 31st December.

2009 arrived and it was still rather uneventful since I was spending most of my time either at home or going out with friends. I sent Perry off to Australia at the airport on Chinese New Year Eve. Somewhat upsetting. It has been three years. Anyway, I obtained my driver’s license in February. Hazard on road now.

Time ticked and ticked and ticked. Pretty soon, it was 12th of March 2009 or also known as, SPM Results Day. Scary. The night before Results Day, my girl friends and I went out for dinner at Pizza Hut to take our minds off our plausible results. I was too anxious that night and so I stayed up the whole night on the Internet. At 10.00AM, I received a call from my mum…I scored straight A1s. Praise God. Thank God. Billions of thanks to God. I was freaking happy and I was lucky enough to get my face in several newspapers. That was quite exciting to flip through newspapers to find my own face. Haha.

I applied medicine course through JPA Scholarship and petroleum engineering through Shell Scholarship. I was selected for the “Program Pendedahan Kerjaya Seorang Doktor 2009” by JPA. That was a somewhat fun and interesting program. I learned a lot by observing the atmosphere in the hospital and what the doctors do. I also met several of my friends from other schools at the program. One of the nights when I was on call in the hospital, tagging after Dr. Emmanuel Fong, I received news from Rhema at midnight that the names listed for JPA Scholarship Interview was out. I remembered hyperventilating with Yasmin Liew and this other boy while Dr. Emmanuel was laughing at us. Praise God. I got listed for the interview and I went for it.

As for the Shell Scholarship, I got a letter from Shell saying that I am selected to attend the scholarship interview. I was given the option to do a phone interview or a face-to-face interview in Kuala Lumpur. I chose to fly over to Kuala Lumpur. The interview was… terribly tough and I felt as if I had babbled the same thing over and over, lacking variety and time to think. After the interview, I semi-gave up hope on getting the Shell Scholarship. My parents and I went over to Kuala Lumpur and after the interview, my mum and I took advantage of our one week Kuala Lumpur trip to do some shopping.

Praise God. JPA results were released in May and I was offered a scholarship to study medicine. I was to do 1.5 years of Australian Matriculation in Sunway University College and then 5 years of medicine degree in New Zealand. Hopes had finally turned to reality. Including the “study in a four seasons country” hope.

Then, in June, I found out that I was offered a scholarship by Shell Scholarship as well. I found out several minutes before the Shell Scholarship Award Ceremony while I was still half asleep at home. However, I had already made up my mind to accept the JPA Scholarship.

Now, it is the end of June. I will be leaving to Sunway University College in just 5 more days.

To be continued…

It is precisely 2.10AM, 5th February 2011, three years from where I last stopped this post. It was of no doubt, an eventful three years. Bittersweet, I would say. College life may have started but friends that go way back are still trotting alongside me, we had a lot of good meet ups. Rhema, Linda, Stefan, Jonas, Cheryl, Amy, Hansley, Cordelia, Esther, Michelle, Gavin, Grace, Chun Hoe, Aaron, Farrah.

College life was a mixture of all emotions available to mankind. I met new people, all of different characteristics and it was a shove out of my comfort zone. Plenty who were supportive, they made good friends and we had our good times. I could now say that I know at least one individual from each state in Malaysia except Pahang and Terengganu. Talk about a widespread social network. First year at college was a breeze, it was relaxing and pressure-free. Though travelling back and forth from Casa Subang to college was an awful pain in the backside.

Second year at college, life was packed to the brim with sushi and living on campus made life so much simpler. However, I was hidden behind a pile of homework and assignments to complete, books and notes to revise and on top of my head, preparing myself for interview sessions with University of Auckland and University of Otago for a seat in the medicine course. I managed to secure myself a conditional offer from University of Auckland whereas just a reserved seat at University of Otago. Finally came WACE, my finals and soon came my results. Nerve wrecking but I obtained an ATAR of 98.75, above the minimum requirement of 97.0 to University of Auckland to pursue medicine. Another blessing from God, I could not thank Him enough. Alongside with an IELTS score of 8, all seems good and smooth flowing for now. My luggages are half-packed and I'm set to depart to Auckland, New Zealand at 9.35PM, 16th February 2011 and I'll be seeing Perry again. Funny how our relationship crumbled and picked itself up twice throughout these three years, each time it picked itself up subconsciously, I am reminded of that boy I saw walking into the debate room five years ago, that boy who waited for me for over a year, that boy that I had warm feelings for the past five years, that boy who made me fall in love with him all over again just by doing nothing each time I walked out. I love the saying by Richard Bach, "if you love something, set it free, if it comes back then it was and always will be yours, if it never returns, it was never yours to begin with."

...to be continued six years from now...