Saturday, December 31, 2005

Life's Journey

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart"

It felt as if it was only yesterday when I had my very first experience setting foot into a school, my first actual lesson.

I remembered being six when I entered kindergarten. I entered a year later then the rest of them but nevertheless, I graduated that year and got second. Kindergarten was nothing but fun for an innocent, young child. Studies wasn’t much of a focus then, it was mainly colouring, tracing alphabets, singing, spelling and simple calculations such as two plus five. I knew a girl named Gabriellyn, who was my best friend that time. She gave me her phone number but I had lost it and I lost contact with her after I entered primary school.

Time in primary school flew once more. From primary one to primary six, everything was a blur, everything went so fast. When I was in primary three, I was selected to take the PTS examinations, which would enable me to skip primary four and pursue primary five instead. But, I had never been serious in the PTS examinations because I was not keen on skipping a year and not being with my friends whom I had already been with for three years. I even arrived late for the PTS examinations! After two pages of the test, I ended up talking to my friend who was sitting at the desk next to me. Due to that, both of us failed the test because we didn’t complete it. But it wasn’t a failure to us, we laughed at our results when we saw the notice board with our names and next to it, in capital letters, it says ‘fail’.

So in primary four, I had the best science teacher that I would never forget, Madam Johanna. Strict as she was with us and always punishing us with her unusual method of ‘angkat tangan’ for five excruciating minutes, she was an excellent class teacher who taught me science for three years. In fact, she was my favourite teacher in primary school.

In primary five, I was selected to be a prefect and my senior was Navena. From junior, I became a senior in primary six. As I said before, time really flies. I was going to sit for UPSR examinations that year. Everyone was preparing for the examinations, studying, revising all things we were taught from primary four to primary six. Hectic as it was, nevertheless, it was fun the way we spent our last year in St. Teresa’s Primary School. I remembered having Madam Fatimah as my English teacher, we used to make fun of the way she pronounced milk as ‘mulg’. I still laugh my head off when I recall about that. In primary five, I had supervised the school during 2002 UPSR and in primary six, it was my turn and then, before I knew it, UPSR was all over. I remembered my number was SK2321110 (the last four digits are my birth date) and my best friend, Grace, was SK2321111 and she sat in front of me during the examinations. Meanwhile, Esther was on my right. I remembered us shouting ‘monster’ when we discovered we were sitting next to each other because we had always enjoyed disturbing one another during lessons and even exams. After the examinations, we had fun gambling in class and sitting on cards when Mr. Sabri makes rounds. Gnome Toss was a favourite among all of us, slamming and banging on the table with all the cards. Mafia, too became a favourite. I still have my Gnome Toss deck…all mangled and crumpled from constant slamming and banging together with shouts of laughter.

From fun it became the day that the UPSR examination results came out. I had obtained 4A’s and B for my Bahasa Melayu objective paper. Disappointed as I was when I heard the news and even more disappointed when I realized that I was going to 1A2 in St. Teresa’s Secondary School. I just masked it up and put on a face that showed that I didn’t mind and lived my life like nothing had happened until the first day I went to secondary school.

The first day in St. Teresa’s Secondary school felt as if a bombshell had dropped out of the blues. It was the first time in my whole life when I had been in a B class. I completely didn’t enjoy my first day in secondary school. It wasn’t enjoyable knowing that I was in the second-best class. Well…sometimes, I do get what I want… The afternoon session assistant principal, Madam Sita came in and announced that some of us will be moved to 1A1 because there was space. And I was one of the lucky ones selected to be moved. So was Esther. I remembered Kristen and my friends who were in 1A1 sneaking over to see the announcement being made and cheering silently when my name was announced.

So, the next day I entered 1A1 and I finally felt as if I had found my place because I knew that I didn’t belong in 1A2. I discovered that a few of the students in 1A1 were stuck up because they had obtained 5A’s and in their narrow-minded opinions that they were better than me. Although that was an old story, I don’t really mind when I think about it now but still, it’s a part of my memory. One of the girls were saying audibly that I was bound to be thrown back to 1A2 because I had 4A’s and that I wasn’t as good as them. But I proved her wrong when she got thrown into 1A2 instead. Although I maintained in 1A1 but I wasn’t satisfied with my marks, I knew I had to work harder because I was slipping. I got somewhere around 10-15 for all four terms and I wasn’t very pleased. I was once again, selected to be a prefect and I passed the probation. Form 1 was also the year when I first got to know Rhema Basil Andrews and indeed I shall say, one very good and trustworthy friend found.

Then the year 2005 surfaced and I was now a senior prefect and in 2A1. I believe that I am slightly more pleased with my academics achievements that year as I think back about it. Perhaps except my second term exam when I got 11th but apart from that, 7th for the first term and 5th for the third and fourth term, I’m slightly more satisfied. I received my prefects appreciation plate and certificate during prize giving and also best student in Form2 plate and certificate. Also, I had the memory and feeling of the first debate and loosing it. There was also the feeling of the second debate when my team won and I was given best speaker, that time I was the third speaker. I was now halfway through my secondary school life and before I am knowing it, Form 3 will be surfacing, breaking through and I would be taking PMR examinations…and no more prefect’s uniform…

Time flies as I think back. It feels like the first day in school, the very first experience. Before I am knowing it, pretty soon PMR examinations comes and goes around the corner and Form 4 comes and then comes Form5 then SPM examinations comes and goes around the corner once more and I will be leaving St. Teresa’s Secondary school…

I wrote those paragraphs above three years ago in 2005, now at the age of seventeen, I shall add a few more paragraphs to this composition. Two years ago, Form 3 surfaced and I conclude that it was the best school year despite the fact that I had to study quite a lot for PMR examinations. I was selected as a prefect in Form 3 and Puan Tan was the best class teacher I ever had. For the first time in my whole life, I got first in one of the school exams that year, breaking Wendy Chan's never ending streak of getting first every exam. Quite a big personal achievement for me I must say. I got third the first exam, the next was second and then the next was first and I got second for the last term exam. I got the award for Best Student in Form 3 and Best Student in 3A1 this year. Time passed on and PMR finally arrived, I had lost every ounce of fear for it. Boo yeah when the results came out and I got straight A's just as I had hoped for. This was also the year when my friends and I created our own gang fight video. It was lame but nevertheless, humorous! One person I quite believe that Rhema and I would never forget would be Linda Soon. Loudspeaker. I also went for a shooting competition in Johor and managed to squeeze into the finals and got 9th. Not bad for a newbie like me.

In the year 2007, I was introduced to new subjects like Chemistry, Physics, Biology and Additional Mathematics. Thank God I managed to retain my streaks of being in the Top 3. Examinations in Form 4 are a lot different from the years before, they were longer and a whole lot more stressful. I managed to hijack a couple of awards this year, Best Student in Form 4, Best Student in 4 Science 1, Best Student in Physics, Straight A's for PMR award, sports award and a prefects' appreciation plague. I got selected as a prefect, yes I know, again. I went for the prefects' Leadership Camp and my group leader was Claire Chang. We spent quite a lot of time together there at Permai. Our group name was Loser but ironically, we were the best team throughout the whole camp. I was elected as Treasurer for the Red Crescent Youth Unit #8 and President for the Literary and Debating Society and the big surprise finally came when I was told that I was elected as the Head Prefect of SMK. St. Teresa. Quite a baggage.

I took part in my first Interschool Debate competition at Kolej Abdillah. What a gigantic school. Kristen was the first speaker, Azureen was the second speaker, I was the third speaker while Rhema and Nishanti were the reserves. We lost to Batu Lintang but nevertheless, it was one pack of a good experience. I recall calling Daniel Chong, the Batu Lintang first speaker, outdated. Then I joined the Bond University High School Mooting competition several months later together with Lilian, Zahira, Kristen, Demie and Azureen. My team lost but Kristen, Demie and Azureen made it to the finals and got second. Disappointing but yes, expected, mooting was never my forte. I hate speeches, I love impromptu and that's why I think I make a pretty average debater who usually does the rebuttals. I took part in a very amusing Health Quiz, which they asked me what causes J.E disease and I answered, Japanese mosquitoes. Quite a lot happened this year. Another great thing is that I met him, Perry Tan. A supportive and thoughtful fellow who makes both a good friend and more than that. It was one shot I took that turned out fine.

This year, it's the year 2008 and I am sitting for SPM in November. Just around the corner, now that's really fast. I'm not making conclusions about Form 5 year yet so I'll finish this composition off another day.

Friday, December 30, 2005

Virtuoso

Feeling like a phantom on stage,
A ghostly shadow of my human self,
That had traveled away from the labyrinth,
Released from the mausoleum,
Every move being watched by the world below,
Thousands of spectators gather to watch this materialization,
The story unfolds magnificently,
As I play my part in the story line,
Every mistake to be criticized,
To be marked and judged,
Every prodigy to be awed,
To be applause and spoken of,
It was all about being philosophical,
It was all about pretension,
They could never sequestrate my faith,
Take away things strongly believed in,
Strutting and walking on stage,
Embracing the time given,
A life liven behind the mask,
Hiding a veritable self behind,
Who had promenaded the stages as someone else,
As witnessed by spectators down below,
Someone to be venerated,
Whose name will live forever,
Whose facade that had been a face,
Will be remembered for sempiternity,
Whose torso will be a remembrance,
Preserved in minds for eternity,
When valediction is finally called for,
Lights dim and curtains fall,
A great maestro on stage was over,
An end to a great virtuoso.

Gabrielle Jee © 2005 & all rights reserved

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Separate Ways

The car speeds down the boulevard,
Rushing back were the memories we shared,
I drown in my own sadness,
As your face forms before my eyes,
All the priceless moments we shared,
Makes me wonder why couldn't I be spared?
From a heart to broken,
As you departed without a single word spoken,
My melancholy was clearly portrayed,
Your depart left me feeling betrayed,
But then I slowly understood,
You would have stayed if only you could,
It happened on the 14th of August,
It rained bitterly that night,
The night we parted unwillingly,
The night I lost you unwillingly,
All the things I wanted to say before,
Something that had been so long inside,
Never got their chance,
As the walls crumble all around me,
I had stood at your funeral before,
Holding back all my tears within me,
As I released a single white rose,
That fell delicately on your face,
I knew it would be hard for us to part,
But lost was even harder to accept,
Something I treasured and had with me,
Now forever and ever gone,
Today I stand by your grave alone,
In my hands I held a rose,
In my eyes I had tears,
In my heart I had everything just for you,
As I release the rose once again,
I watch history unfold itself again,
I remember your words and I hear your voice,
The precious promises we made,
I watch as the rose falls slowly,
Onto the ground it rested peacefully,
Over your resting body,
I close my eyes as tears fell sadly,
I saw us laughing at the park together,
Having fun as if it would never end forever,
Never did I know that it would all end that day,
We would go our in separated ways,
Part of me wishes you could still be here,
I would do anything just to have,
You standing here by my side,
Just like how it had always been before,
To hear you laughter,
To feel your presence,
Just one more time,
And if only everything didn't need to end so fast,
I opened my eyes and looked around,
Cold and bitter wind accompanies the mood,
Sadly I turn around and walked away,
Once more going our separate ways...

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

I Wish

I wish that I could have,
A second chance to make a change.
Retrace every mistake I made,
Take back every word I spoke,
I wish that I could have,
Given things a second glance,
I would have seen what was in front of me,
What I had all the time,
I wish that I could have,
Known how everyone felt like,
With everything I had done,
With every single word I spoke,
I wish I could make,
Everything less complicated,
If this is all just a game,
Let's now just get everything done,
I wish that I could have,
Understood things more,
I wouldn't have been caught in the middle,
Of my own catastrophe,
I wish I could have,
Let the world know as far as one can see,
What I pretend to not be,
Something broken up inside.

~Gabrielle Jee~

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Christmas Day

Merry Christmas. It's 25th today. Yesterday mass ended at ilke 1.45am. I decided to go for Mich's christmas party, maybe stay for a while la. Think I'll just folo aaron's idea to get chocolates since I had not gotten anything yet. Hm, let's see, think I saw Julie and Natalie at mass yesterday. Chatting with Julie, mich's little bro and another friend now. It's raining.....sighh...my maid is watching tv outside. Kk..thats allt oday...i wanna go chat..

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Christmas

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!! Hey, it's Christmas Eve today. It's 6.20pm over here, I'm about to have my dinner soon with my family. Just showered. Later going to midnight mass at Blessed Sacrament Church. Yesterday, went to Lundu, the Sematan, to get fresh seafood to cook for today. On the way back, detour at Bau. So on and so on, think that was like a 4-5hour ride in the car, I read geo in the car while listening to music and I remember writing something but now I forgot what I wrote, think I threw it away. Neways, be right back after dinner. Back, just had dinner. I am soo soo full, probably gonna need like 7-8 hours to digest...lol...It's 7.45pm now. Hey everyone. I'm currently chatting with my insane cousin and my good so-call 'pretty, graceful..etc...etc' friend who is a he for your info. Si ai bin lorr. Been sending out e-cards. My parents are napping, later got to hit church at 11pm...until probably like 1 plus....*yawn beforehand*. Tomorrow Mich invited me to her house for Christmas but I got some stuff going on so shame i can't go. Too bad, merry christmas mich! Hope everyone has fun tomorrow. Ok...btw..I got 3 ecards from jason and tsktsk.....yellow...yellow...joking...

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Romance Mathematics (Jason's rubbish)

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy



OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime



SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.



GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.



HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.



LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.



PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.



DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.



HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.



SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE DUMB GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Magic of Christmas

Every morning I sit by the doorstep,
Wishing, hoping and praying,
As I wait for the postman,
To bring me a letter,
I heard that war was over,
They had won the battle,
Alex, dear brother, please come home,
I love you so much,
Mummy and daddy misses you,
Everyone misses you,
There's no news of you,
Please come home before Christmas,
Remember how much fun we once had,
When I was six,
You took me horseback riding,
I fell off and broke my arm,
When we got home from the hospital,
Mummy gave you such a scolding,
But I still stuck up for you,
You were the best brother anyone could ever ask for,
When I was ten,
We had such a fight,
That I didn't spoke to you for two weeks,
As giving as you always were,
You said you were sorry,
Although we both knew it was my fault,
Christmas is coming,
And all I want for Christmas is you,
To be home for dinner with us,
I don't ask for more,
Today is the 25th of December,
I hear the doorbell ring,
I run downstairs as fast as I could,
Flung open the door as I held my breath,
Standing there with a smile,
There was my beloved brother,
As we stood there hugging,
I thought to myself,
Christmas isn't Christmas if you weren't home,
This was the magic of Christmas,
My best Christmas present ever...

~Gab~ (2005 & copyrighted!)

Friday, December 16, 2005

I woke up at 3pm today! Horror! I can't believe I slept through all the renovation racket made downstairs...hibernating human like Clarence says. Oh well, going to watch Narnia tomorrow with some of my friends. So unbelievable, felt like last year I just sat for upsr, next year pmr!!! Fast...last year 13, this year 14, next year 15! And like some of my friends are 16 and it felt as if just yesterday they were 14! Oh well, what to do, this is the process!!! See ya, sayonara! Oh yeah, I'll be back tonight, approximately 11pm+ because I got violin lessons until 9pm. So bored now. Just came back from violin lessons. I didn't practice for a week because my strings all went out of tune....hahaha, Mr. Kon knows, cause I told him that when he told me I played that study quite good. Hahahaha. Next year tentatively, my lessons will be on a wednesday, 5.30pm. This Wednesday, i got extra piano lessons with Mrs.Ling at Rock Road, 9am! Then tuition later at 2pm! Will be doing Christmas shopping next week, plus school-stuff shopping (uniform, bag, black pants for RC...etc..etc..) Let me see..I didn't realise that school reopens on a Tuesday! Odd though, usually its a Monday. Gosh, wake up at 5.45am..reach school 6.15am...gosh...can't believe this routine is repeating again! Haiz..Theo went offline already...btw..my dad spoilt d drill for like the 2nd time! Kay, I'll go surf d net now, ciao.