Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Bowels of Steel

Two days ago, I went to the studio to get my class profile picture taken (I have a gut feeling that my profile picture will end up looking hideous) and then I was struck with dust allergies. Sniffling and watery-eyed, I had the willpower to attend Physics tuition that night. Several hours later, I boiled a fever, a sore throat and a flu. That was when my mother said to me those words that anyone would long to hear,

"I think you best take a day off school tomorrow and go to the doctor."Yes, I am sick but no one said anything about it being illegal to blog when you are sick. There was this really ridiculous question circulating in class for a couple of days ago, "how often do you shit?" I must say that I was fairly amused when I discovered that people either shit daily or they shit twice in a week. I discovered that I fall in the later category.

I read about nutrition and it was stated clearly in that paragraph that inconsistent shitting can lead to build up of toxic substances in the bowel which, would lead to bowel cancer. Oh dear, sounds like I should do something about my irregular shitting schedules?

I once told a friend, "I don't remember when was the last time I shit."

I take oats for breakfast, plenty of fruits, vegetables and water daily. Yet, it doesn't seem to make a difference. Two days ago, my dad bought plenty of Wrigley's Extra sugar-free chewing gum. After fifteen sticks of chewing gum, I remembered Perry's diarrhoae encounter with Wrigley's Extra chewing gum during one of the Physics classes after three sticks of chewing gum. Appalled, I grabbed a chewing gum wrapper and read the back of it,

"Excessive intake can lead to laxative effects."

So I waited and I waited but I never paid the toilet any visits. Constipated? Then I came to the conclusion that,

I HAVE BOWELS OF STEEL

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