Law & Shit

I hadn't blogged for a week, I wonder if my presence was missed. Oh wait, hang on... *buzzing sound*...I sense a premonition coming and ah, I see the light! No, I wasn't missed.... *blows nose*... It's been a weird and stress-indulging week ...*untangles feet into yoga position*... Why? Lot's of stuff that does not bring the image of cotton candy and Minnie Mouse into your head, more likely to bring the image of turnips and Scrooge into your head. I've was extremely lame and racist last week, coming up with a modified version of the lamest joke possible told in the history of South East Asia.

"There were three men, one Muslim, one Catholic and one Buddhist, hanging off a rope from a helicopter, about to die. Only one could stay... So Malay suggests to pray. Everyone agrees. Everyone prays. Muslim opens hands to say solat, Muslim falls off. Christian raises hand to make the sign of the cross with one hand still holding onto the rope but falls off as soon as Buddhist begins to do the 'joss-stick shaking movement'. Hence, Buddhist survives."


How much lamer can it possibly get? That's the effect of too much Pendidikan Moral, it makes you become so unbelievably 'perpaduan-ish' that you completely forgot your being racist. Do I make sense? Technically I'm being very 'perpaduan-ish' for including three main relgisions and racist at the same time. Whatever...

I turned on the stove couple of days ago to cook pasta and roaring jets of blue flames flared up ...*exaggerates*... and out of the blues like a bombshell, *inserts sound effect* a lizard fell into the flames. It caught on fire like something out of the Exorcist, ran helplessly around the stove and falls dead stiffly on its' back with all four roasted feet sticking out straight like toothpicks. How adorable...

It's been such a lousy week that I completely forgot what I wanted to blog about. I swore I had a planning but it evaporated into thin air... Exams started yesterday, lovely. Did I mention what I wrote for English essay today? I picked the question that said... "start your story off with ...I stepped out of the house and I was determined never to return again." I wrote that I was this character in the 1800's and I was fixed up for some arranged marriage with some lousy guy who acts like a senile ninety-five year old grouch and eventually I decided to murder him by adding a couple teaspoons of sodium arsenic into his daily morning brew of coffee for four months and then I packed by belongings and *inserts drum roll* free from torture. Whatever, I can hardly remember anything...

PS: I saw a hippo and it crossed my mind as... uh...