A story of a friend of a friend of mine

My head was bent over my book; I was immersed in calculating an algebraic question when I head a funny muffled sound behind me. I turned around and saw Ryan sitting behind me, his nose almost touching his book and he was making a queer muffled, mumbling noise. He realized that I was looking at him, he looked up and caught my eye and he embarrassedly looked back at his book.

Several girls sitting near him started to giggle at him. Ryan had some sort of illness that left him with a speech problem and he had a tendency of making queer noises unintentionally. And when he did that, the girls would giggle and the boys would bully him. Ryan knew that the girls were giggling at him, he looked at them and looked back down sadly and with a hint of embarrassment. I felt sorry for him. The girls were just being mean. Ryan never picked the choice to have speech problems.

“Why do you have to be so mean to Ryan?” I asked Anna angrily. I heard Ryan dropped his calculator; obviously he was rather shocked that somebody would actually be on his side. I heard him clumsily bend over to pick it up.

Anna giggled stupidly. “I don’t know? Because he’s weird,” she giggled even louder. All her friends joined it.

I glared at them incredulously and gave Ryan a pitying look. He turned bright red in the face and looked away quickly.

It was during recess, I was on prefects’ school patrol duty when I saw Ryan surrounded by a group of boys who were pushing him around. One of the boys, Jonathan pushed Ryan so hard that Ryan fell onto the hard cement ground on his back. Ryan looked miserable and helpless in the middle of all of them. He looked like he was on the verge of tears.

“Retard, you’re no use at all. You can’t even talk properly without adding ‘err’ or mumbling in your sentence! Retarded boy!” Kevin was shouting and kicked Ryan hard below the belt.

I saw Ryan double over in pain. That was when I decided that the whole bullying Ryan thing has gone far too over. I rushed over to Ryan and helped him to get up. Ryan was shaking so badly and tears were streaming down his face and he buried his face in my shoulder. I put my arm around him protectively.

“Why do you people have to pick on him? Why can’t you leave him alone?” I shouted angrily at the group of boys.

“Ooh…Ryan got himself a girlfriend,” one of them said, smirking at me. Then all of them including the boys nearby wolf-whistled and the girls giggled and made stupid remarks.

“Grow up! Can’t you see that he is already miserable enough? How many friends does he have in school? Why can’t you people have pity on him? Why must you bully him just because he’s nice?” I demanded heatedly, glaring hard and still supporting Ryan who was shaking very hard.

“Hey, come on, he’s a total coward and he’s dumb. So who—“ Kevin began but jerked back in shock when I slapped him hard across the face angrily.

“Don’t you ever call him a coward or dumb! Don’t you ever lay a finger on Ryan anymore,” and with that, I guided Ryan up towards the classrooms.

In the classroom, Ryan sat down on his seat and looked at his shoes. He looked so sad and tears were in his eyes. I pressed a tissue into his hand and gave him a hug. I didn’t want to leave him alone in the classroom but I had to do my duty so I had to leave. Before I left, I touched him on the cheek and smiled. When I was near the door, I turned back and I saw Ryan holding his hand to his cheek where I had touched. I smiled, it was sweet to know that I was Ryan’s first ever friend in school.

The next day, I came to school and I saw Ryan standing at the gate, waiting for me with a shy smile on his face. He said hello to me and offered to help me carry my books. I smiled and said hello in return and told him that it was okay, he didn’t need to help me carry my books. He seemed very happy for the first time I had ever seen him and talked rather a lot about football although his speech wasn’t so fluent. He told me how much he loves football and Manchester United. I felt happy to hear him talk and that he was happy.

In class, I helped Ryan with his homework and everything. But, not everyone saw our relationship as a friendly thing.

“Ooh, look, Ryan and Lynn, getting cozy at the back there,” Jayne said loudly. The girls went ‘ooh’ and ‘ah’ while the boys cheered, clapped and wolf-whistled. Ryan went deep red in the face and bowed his head. For the first time today, I saw him look sad and miserable again.

“Don’t listen to what they’re saying. They’re not talking sense, Ryan,” I said, ignoring them in attempt to cheer him up.

“Why do they always pick on me?” Ryan whispered sadly, looking down.

I patted him on the shoulder and told him that they were just being silly and immature and they just want to prove that they are tough by bullying those who are weaker. Ryan cheered up a little but I could tell that he was rather down because he talked less after that.

Everyday, Ryan would wait for me at the gate. One day, I saw that he wasn’t there. I went into a panic fit, because I knew that he would be there unless something bad had happen. I got really afraid. Horrible thoughts went through my head. Did he get beaten up? Did he get into an accident? What happened? I ran around school like some lunatic looking for him. Finally, I found him crouching near the boys’ toilets.

“Ryan, what are you doing here? What happened?” I asked frantically, squatting down in front of him and something caught my eye. I grabbed his wrists and he struggled to hide his hands from me. I felt a lump rising in my throat. There were slits on both of his wrists but thankfully, they were not deep enough to cut the main veins.

“Ryan…” I looked at him slowly, tears spilling down my face, I didn’t let go of his wrists. “How could you…?” I whispered, pained.

“They hate me. Everybody does,” he mumbled, not meeting my eyes.

“I don’t hate you. Ryan, you know that I don’t hate you. How can even think of doing this to me? I don’t want you to ever try to commit suicide again,” I pleaded desperately.

“It’s painful to know that no one cares about you and they hurt you everyday,” Ryan said quietly. “Except you, you’re my only friend. You’re the only one who cares about me and can you hear? I can actually speak better than last time,” he added with a shy smile. “When I was slitting my wrists, I wanted to cut deeper but then I thought of you and I know you’ll be upset if I am gone and you would be sad. I don’t want you to be sad so I didn’t do it,” he looked at me with a faint smile.

His words made my heart break into a million pieces, I pulled Ryan into a hug and cried. I nearly lost Ryan if he had slit his wrists deeper and if I did, I don’t think my life would ever be the same again.

Months passed and Ryan’s speech began to improve. Soon, he was speaking like any normal fourteen-year-old boy. He became a happier person although he was still rather quiet. We became the best of friends. It was something like a brother and sister relationship. Some things may have changed but the scars on Ryan’s wrists serves as a memory to all of us how sad Ryan’s life had once been until he even attempted suicide.

Gabrielle Jee